#Ep 02: How to know you're ready to go all-in?

Alisa Kay: 00:00:00

Welcome to the modern coach podcast.

Alisa Kay: 00:00:01

And this is episode two, where we'll talk about that.

Alisa Kay: 00:00:05

Fuck that shit moment that made me a coach.

Alisa Kay: 00:00:43

Hello and welcome back.

Alisa Kay: 00:00:44

So today I am going to break down the case study.

Alisa Kay: 00:00:51

That will show you exactly how to know if you are ready, if you're

Alisa Kay: 00:00:58

ready, ready, ready to give up.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:02

The nine to five, if you're ready to give up the part of your business

Alisa Kay: 00:01:07

that is sucking your soul dry.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:09

If you are ready to become a modern coach, so let's get this party started.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:18

So I want you to take you back.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:20

I want to take you back to this moment in time.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:24

I want to say it was a good six, seven years ago now.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:29

And I was on a plane.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:31

I was on a long, long ass plane going to Bali.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:35

I had this vision all of the year, my, uh, good childhood friend.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:40

She is, Ukrainian designer and she is super talented.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:44

We actually went to school together.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:46

Yeah one.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:47

And she used to send me these little letters when I first moved to England

Alisa Kay: 00:01:50

and we, she was one of my oldest friends.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:52

We stayed in touch basically because she persevered and just to never stopped,

Alisa Kay: 00:01:57

never stopped sending me letters.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:59

Right.

Alisa Kay: 00:01:59

And when the internet came to be, um, we started speaking of

Alisa Kay: 00:02:03

Skype and zoom and all the things.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:05

So her name is Lara and we decided to spend new years.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:11

Eve together.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:12

And she was saying to me like, Hey, well, we're traveling, you know, we've

Alisa Kay: 00:02:15

just started the design company and we'll be walking, but, but for new

Alisa Kay: 00:02:19

year's, we're going to be in Bali.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:20

And I never really, I didn't really know too much about body, to be honest.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:25

I know it's, it's like the thing in the spiritual world.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:29

For me, I'd never really done much research about it.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:32

So even though I I've, I've traveled all over the place, this

Alisa Kay: 00:02:36

was a whole new experience for me.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:38

And I was really, really excited.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:39

I was like, I'm gonna go to the, how the yoga has spas.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:41

It has surfing, like it has everything I could ever want.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:45

So we, um, banded together.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:47

We rented this huge mansion in body and a bunch of all, you know, her friends.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:53

Our old acquaintances, a bunch of like people from, from all over

Alisa Kay: 00:02:57

the world came to be in this house.

Alisa Kay: 00:02:59

And I was on this plane and it was, I, I believe it was 31 hours

Alisa Kay: 00:03:04

of the top of my head, but I.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:06

I can't confirm what to dive out.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:09

I was in this plane and I literally worked every single minute of that journey.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:15

I remember I was sending emails.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:16

I was around with Xcel.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:20

I had to like create some reports and it was at that moment in time,

Alisa Kay: 00:03:23

was managing a tutoring agency and I just, I was hating every moment of it.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:28

I got into this fear.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:30

Primarily because my, um, in my undergraduate degree, my

Alisa Kay: 00:03:35

Shakespeare lecturer was the owner of a tutoring company.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:39

And he said to me, um, he was basically recruiting, using all universities saying

Alisa Kay: 00:03:43

to students like, Hey, do you want to make 10 pounds an hour being a true.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:48

And I said to him, no, no one wants to be a teacher, but I

Alisa Kay: 00:03:51

did like look up your company.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:53

And I see that you're looking for an account manager.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:55

Do you want to give me a chance?

Alisa Kay: 00:03:57

Like I speak Russian, I speak Ukrainian.

Alisa Kay: 00:03:59

I can help you with this, this and this.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:01

And I sort of sold him on me.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:03

And that's how I ended up in this tutoring industry working for, um, this.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:08

Niche boutique company.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:10

And, you know, they gave me a shot and they taught me everything I knew.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:16

And I ended up developing, you know, my own sense of tutoring style.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:20

And, and then I ended up going out on my own and, you know,

Alisa Kay: 00:04:23

developing where the storytelling methodology and yada yada, yada.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:27

That was my big foray into the tutoring industry and how I

Alisa Kay: 00:04:30

started was really by sheer luck.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:32

And I never, I first of all, never wanted to be a teacher.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:36

You know, it's really funny now, actually, I always tell all my

Alisa Kay: 00:04:39

clients like you are a publishing.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:41

Essentially you as a, you as a coach who was a business owner, you've chosen

Alisa Kay: 00:04:45

to be a publishing house because you are creating content every single day.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:50

You're publishing stuff online, which means that even if you didn't

Alisa Kay: 00:04:54

mean to be, that is what you are.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:56

You're creating the content.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:58

You're, you're doing the dues.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:59

You're showing up.

Alisa Kay: 00:04:59

You're essentially publishing your stuff every single day.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:03

And you know, a lot of the content that I teach is very much.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:07

Teaching.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:08

Right.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:09

Even like the content that I teach, right?

Alisa Kay: 00:05:11

The clues, the clues in the name it's teaching content.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:14

The irony of this is, is that I always maintained, I didn't want to be a teacher.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:18

I didn't do my, you know, my whatever English degree and my masters.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:23

I didn't want to use it to teach and, uh, jokes on me cause that's what I

Alisa Kay: 00:05:28

ended up doing and finding my passion in teaching a slightly different clientele,

Alisa Kay: 00:05:32

but really in like the tutoring business was a money-making venture for me.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:37

I loved my, my students.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:39

They were great.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:40

They're like little Rascals, but I was good at what I was doing because I

Alisa Kay: 00:05:43

was not emotionally attached to them.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:45

And I think.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:47

A lot of teachers are emotionally attached to those students.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:49

That totally fine.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:51

I was able to sort of do that separation.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:53

It really was just a profitable venture for me.

Alisa Kay: 00:05:57

And it was, you know, it was making more than I was working in a shop.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:00

So it made sense to me to tutor a few nights a week and the business, you

Alisa Kay: 00:06:06

know, the business that I ended up developing grew from that and grew

Alisa Kay: 00:06:09

from me sort of doing, you know, hourly work then the monthly work, and then.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:14

Doing placements, traveling around the world.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:18

That's what I used to do.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:18

I used to be a traveling tutor where essentially my job was

Alisa Kay: 00:06:22

to go away with families and.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:26

Teach their kids in off hours.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:29

So one of my students was preparing to go into the Olympics or to,

Alisa Kay: 00:06:33

to be qualified for the Olympics.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:35

So I should try and skate it.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:36

Like I would literally get up at 4:00 AM, do, do a few hours of work

Alisa Kay: 00:06:40

with him that he would go training.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:41

Then we come back, he would have lunch, we would do some more work.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:44

So it's not, I'm not really like.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:46

With each arm, literally preparing these students for specific exams to get

Alisa Kay: 00:06:51

into specific schools around the world.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:53

And that was my job for quite a long time.

Alisa Kay: 00:06:56

I think I started when I was 18, 19 years old, and I ended up doing it

Alisa Kay: 00:07:00

until my, you know, mid, mid twenties.

Alisa Kay: 00:07:03

So I was sort of, even though I was a young tutor, I was still a veteran in

Alisa Kay: 00:07:08

the industry and I ended up knowing quite a lot of it about it because I

Alisa Kay: 00:07:11

ended up managing a lot of those clients and I ended up managing, you know, 15

Alisa Kay: 00:07:16

tutors and managing the accounts and helping businesses develop in that way.

Alisa Kay: 00:07:21

Palace, you know, I'm always as an entrepreneur, I was always looking

Alisa Kay: 00:07:25

for opportunities to make more money.

Alisa Kay: 00:07:27

So, you know, when opportunities arose to go and teach in schools to go and teach

Alisa Kay: 00:07:33

storytelling, to go and have a talk to go in, you know, I developed my own way,

Alisa Kay: 00:07:37

a program, like way reading program.

Alisa Kay: 00:07:40

Because it just loved reading.

Alisa Kay: 00:07:42

Right?

Alisa Kay: 00:07:42

So it made sense for me to monetize that.

Alisa Kay: 00:07:45

And I think, you know, as a modern coach, you you'll see this, that

Alisa Kay: 00:07:47

in your life, a lot of my clients have the same like entrepreneurial

Alisa Kay: 00:07:51

bug, where they have monetized their skills in a variety of different ways.

Alisa Kay: 00:07:56

And I think that for me, the tutoring was very much that it was me

Alisa Kay: 00:08:00

monetizing the aspects of teaching.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:04

Reading writing that I really enjoyed.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:06

And it was a profitable venture, you know, ended up give him a

Alisa Kay: 00:08:09

parent's money to buy a house.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:10

I ended up traveling the world.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:13

I ended up buying a bunch of, you know, designer stuff that

Alisa Kay: 00:08:16

I could never, ever afford.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:18

As a child, you know, like we, we would be living paycheck to paycheck.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:22

And a lot of the time I, I have this like very vivid memory of my mom telling me I

Alisa Kay: 00:08:27

can't, I can't have the spy kit external.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:33

In a box or a TJ Maxx, if you're an American.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:36

I have this very vivid memory, of her telling me, no, we can't afford that.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:41

And I remember like going into my first foray and starting working, you

Alisa Kay: 00:08:47

know, I think my boss is in July and the first of all, like end of July.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:51

So on the 1st of August, I had a job when I turned 16 and I was like, ready.

Alisa Kay: 00:08:57

Like I was not going to be the broke student.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:01

In fact, all of my friends will tell you that I've always had something happening.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:05

You know, when, when the internet started to become a thing, my first

Alisa Kay: 00:09:08

ever monetization on the internet was monetizing presets for Twilight funds.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:16

So on live journal.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:18

And then on tumbler, I used to sell these like presets where people could make.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:24

Edward and Bella graphics, what a deep cup.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:26

I didn't even know.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:27

I was going to tell you guys about this, but I've always had this habit,

Alisa Kay: 00:09:31

I guess, of monetizing, whatever it is that I'm interested in.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:34

And I think that a lot of us coaches, coach for free, we have

Alisa Kay: 00:09:40

like, it's an innate skill that even if it hasn't been honed it.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:45

Flourishes and it, you know, sometimes it drains us a lot of coaches.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:49

I work with their M E the empaths and they don't really know how to control it.

Alisa Kay: 00:09:54

A lot of the people that I, you know, service providers that I work with,

Alisa Kay: 00:09:57

they do free coaching as part of their services and think it's fine.

Alisa Kay: 00:10:01

Um, a lot of the people I've worked with in the past, they

Alisa Kay: 00:10:04

have a really great, good heart.

Alisa Kay: 00:10:07

You know, they, they have a heart of gold that they are.

Alisa Kay: 00:10:11

And they don't recognize that those coaching skills are

Alisa Kay: 00:10:14

what makes them so special.

Alisa Kay: 00:10:16

And then on monetizing those skills because they come so easily.

Alisa Kay: 00:10:19

And how many of us think that we have to make everything hard

Alisa Kay: 00:10:23

in order for it to be worth it?

Alisa Kay: 00:10:24

Right?

Alisa Kay: 00:10:25

So that was a reading my story for a long time, that anything that came

Alisa Kay: 00:10:28

easily to me was not worth monetizing and everything that came harder

Alisa Kay: 00:10:33

was like, In order to make money.

Alisa Kay: 00:10:35

I had to work hard, you know, you know, I had to be up for 31 plus hours on that

Alisa Kay: 00:10:40

plane, finishing off all the reports, doing an extra bit of work, yada yada.

Alisa Kay: 00:10:44

Yeah.

Alisa Kay: 00:10:45

So back to the plane, I was flying to body and I was going to

Alisa Kay: 00:10:50

have a proper eight notes off.

Alisa Kay: 00:10:53

And of course, the day before I was going to leave, something happened

Alisa Kay: 00:10:57

at work and it was so just stressful.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:01

I was managing these 16 or 17 tutors and they were.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:06

Uh, everything was blowing up and, you know, I couldn't leave it.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:10

I just couldn't switch off because I had to be the person that was

Alisa Kay: 00:11:14

saving, you know, like the company and I had to go into action.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:19

And I remember that was this one moment.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:21

Okay.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:22

You know, I was in this plan and I was thinking to myself,

Alisa Kay: 00:11:25

this is really not relaxing.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:26

This is not like, this does not bite.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:27

This is not a good omen for a relaxing holiday.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:31

But then obviously I squashed it down and, you know, I had had another fizzy

Alisa Kay: 00:11:34

drink, um, to like get the caffeine up and I carried on walking and I got to Bali.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:39

I had a nap the taxi bag.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:41

We'd go to the house.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:43

And I met everyone.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:44

Everyone was super happy to see me.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:45

I hadn't seen them in such a long time.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:47

And you know, if you haven't national friends, you know, like that, that fuzzy

Alisa Kay: 00:11:50

feeling in your heart, when you see someone you haven't seen for so long,

Alisa Kay: 00:11:54

and it was just lovely to be in the company of friends who also understood.

Alisa Kay: 00:11:58

They also were all like working people.

Alisa Kay: 00:12:00

So we ended up renting these bikes and going to a nearby beach.

Alisa Kay: 00:12:05

I was so excited.

Alisa Kay: 00:12:06

I was like, ah, the ocean is here where, you know, it's hot, it's humid.

Alisa Kay: 00:12:11

It's like everything I've ever wanted and more.

Alisa Kay: 00:12:14

And we, we got these blankets and we, we put them down and I

Alisa Kay: 00:12:20

don't remember anything after that because I was knocked out.

Alisa Kay: 00:12:24

I totally, like I passed out, not having slept on this plane, having had all of

Alisa Kay: 00:12:30

the stressful months and months of just overworking over, committing, just over

Alisa Kay: 00:12:35

saying yes to every single contract, to every single client that came my way.

Alisa Kay: 00:12:40

My friends couldn't wake me up to the point where like they had to cover me with

Alisa Kay: 00:12:45

this sort of thin scarf over the top of me because they just couldn't shake me away.

Alisa Kay: 00:12:50

I can, you know, they were like, we would literally try not shrink your

Alisa Kay: 00:12:52

way for five minutes, but you were just dead to the world and blessed them.

Alisa Kay: 00:12:56

They, you know, they went swimming and they did.

Alisa Kay: 00:12:59

Well, I was asleep and it took them a few hours to actually wake me up.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:03

And I woke up with sunburn, like not only sunburn, but I ended up having

Alisa Kay: 00:13:09

like heat stroke because I was so just out of it and they couldn't wake me up.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:13

So this was like the 29th of December.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:16

So it was just like right before new year's as well.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:19

And I had this vision that I was going to learn how to stuff in two days.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:23

And I was going to stuff into the new year and new me.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:26

I was going to whack class.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:27

I was going to make more, it was a little going to be magical and, you

Alisa Kay: 00:13:31

know, jokes on me because I ended up having really, really severe heat stroke.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:36

And really, really, I was very unwell that whole evening, but

Alisa Kay: 00:13:39

I sort of started to sleep.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:41

the next day.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:42

And we went to this thing is called the monkey beach, where these monkeys like

Alisa Kay: 00:13:46

wild monkeys are, um, running around.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:49

This beach.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:50

And of course in the morning, I'm over there, like checking my emails, I don't

Alisa Kay: 00:13:54

even remember what the situation is.

Alisa Kay: 00:13:55

Isn't it funny?

Alisa Kay: 00:13:56

It felt like it was consuming my whole life at the time, but I was

Alisa Kay: 00:13:59

sort of doing a little bit of work while also being horrendously sick.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:03

And I, you know, everyone's asking me like, are shoot.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:05

I want to stay home.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:05

I was like, no, I made plans.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:07

I said, I was going to stop until this new year.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:09

I'm going to serve into the new year.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:11

Everything will be fine.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:13

So I end up.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:14

Going to this monkey beach with everyone and everyone is surfing, but I just

Alisa Kay: 00:14:17

feel so horrendously ill and I, you know, the instructor is showing us

Alisa Kay: 00:14:22

how to like balance on the surf board.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:24

And now all I want to do is just crawl into a hole and just feel

Alisa Kay: 00:14:28

better because this heat stroke is just affecting me so badly.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:31

And, you know, I get into.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:33

This, this taxi.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:35

And I ended up going home because I'm just so unwell.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:38

And I think at that moment when I was on this monkey beach, just

Alisa Kay: 00:14:41

feeling so, so, so terrible.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:44

I remember thinking to myself, fuck this bullshit.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:48

No more.

Alisa Kay: 00:14:50

Why am I kidding myself?

Alisa Kay: 00:14:51

Like, is this all the risk to life?

Alisa Kay: 00:14:54

Is this all there is to this

Alisa Kay: 00:14:56

existence where I can't even relax for a day because I'm so

Alisa Kay: 00:15:02

tired and I'm falling asleep.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:03

Like I'm literally blacking out on a beach and having developing heat stroke.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:07

Like there has to be more to life than this.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:10

That has to be more.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:12

To this existence than just 24 7 work, not seeing friends, not

Alisa Kay: 00:15:17

seeing family, like where is this freedom that they keep promising me?

Alisa Kay: 00:15:21

Like, there, there is no freedom and what I'm doing right now.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:24

And I remember having this moment, like this line in the sand moment

Alisa Kay: 00:15:27

where I was like, I'm going to come back home and I'm going to change.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:30

I'm going to just change my life.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:31

Like no more.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:33

I am, you know, in my early twenties, this, this is why do I feel like

Alisa Kay: 00:15:38

I've lived through lifetimes of.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:41

Just hard work and hustle.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:42

And I really had this hustle hangover from doing all the dues.

Alisa Kay: 00:15:47

And I think that that moment, it really made me start to question

Alisa Kay: 00:15:49

like, why am I doing this?

Alisa Kay: 00:15:51

Who am I doing this for?

Alisa Kay: 00:15:52

And like this need and desire to, and a lot of money in order to not have

Alisa Kay: 00:15:57

the level of poverty that we had when I was a child, is it actually worth it?

Alisa Kay: 00:16:02

And is it actually worth me?

Alisa Kay: 00:16:04

Jeopardizing my health, jeopardizing my sanity and jeopardizing everything that I.

Alisa Kay: 00:16:10

To do to do this.

Alisa Kay: 00:16:12

And there wasn't that moment.

Alisa Kay: 00:16:13

I decided to have a quarter life crisis, and I decided to go and do and all the

Alisa Kay: 00:16:17

degree and that didn't really pan out.

Alisa Kay: 00:16:20

But the short of it is, is that, you know, I was on this beach and I was

Alisa Kay: 00:16:25

still living on the terms of everyone around me, even the decision to like,

Alisa Kay: 00:16:29

okay, I'm going to fix my business.

Alisa Kay: 00:16:30

Then I'm going to figure out how it can make this more

Alisa Kay: 00:16:33

of a freedom based activity.

Alisa Kay: 00:16:35

That was a huge win.

Alisa Kay: 00:16:36

But the old age thinking that kept me back was, oh my God, I

Alisa Kay: 00:16:40

can't go into the business world because people will judge me.

Alisa Kay: 00:16:43

So let me just do like an extra law degree so that my parents can say

Alisa Kay: 00:16:47

that they have a lawyer in the family.

Alisa Kay: 00:16:50

And I think so many of us have like a hot moment breakthrough In the

Alisa Kay: 00:16:55

worst circumstances when everything looks bleak, whenever, when our

Alisa Kay: 00:16:59

health is at its lowest, right?

Alisa Kay: 00:17:02

And then instead of doing the things that we promised ourselves that we would do,

Alisa Kay: 00:17:05

like, I sort of, I made a contract with myself and said monkey beach, but I ended

Alisa Kay: 00:17:09

up voiding that contract in order to pursue a future that I didn't even want,

Alisa Kay: 00:17:13

you know, In order to appease people that actually probably wouldn't be appeased.

Alisa Kay: 00:17:19

I know for a fact that my mum would just wants me to be happy.

Alisa Kay: 00:17:21

And I'm sure that your mom wants you to be happy to, whoever it is for you.

Alisa Kay: 00:17:25

Right.

Alisa Kay: 00:17:26

And I think when we're looking for validation from outside of ourselves,

Alisa Kay: 00:17:30

that's when we get into this danger zone of going into and doing the

Alisa Kay: 00:17:35

things that we don't want to do.

Alisa Kay: 00:17:36

So for me, it looked like, okay, how can I shed, you know,

Alisa Kay: 00:17:41

the contractual obligations?

Alisa Kay: 00:17:45

With people who are treating me like an employee, how can I reshape

Alisa Kay: 00:17:50

my understanding with my clients?

Alisa Kay: 00:17:53

How can I go forward?

Alisa Kay: 00:17:54

And how can I develop?

Alisa Kay: 00:17:55

And this is where, by the way, this is exactly the point at which I

Alisa Kay: 00:17:58

started becoming more interested in digital marketing, because everything

Alisa Kay: 00:18:02

up until that point was word of mouth or very traditional work.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:07

Cause then I would work with agencies that would give me clients.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:10

And that was that.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:11

And I was like, well, there has to be a better way.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:13

Like I've sold things online before cut back to toilet presets on live gentle, um,

Alisa Kay: 00:18:20

that I could pro I could probably do that.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:23

Like I could probably figure out how to have this business online.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:27

You know, for a lot of us when we understand that, oh, wow.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:32

Like the circumstances that we've created in our lives, uh, very much

Alisa Kay: 00:18:37

dictated by everyone around us.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:40

Who am I living for?

Alisa Kay: 00:18:42

You know?

Alisa Kay: 00:18:42

And, and as I was sat there on this monkey beach, Feeling like literal

Alisa Kay: 00:18:47

death, like, oh my God, I feel so ill.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:50

And if you've ever had heatstroke is like the west thing.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:53

Cause it feels like someone has, is literally hitting you over the

Alisa Kay: 00:18:55

head over and over and over again.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:57

At least that was my experience of it.

Alisa Kay: 00:18:59

And I was, and I just remember thinking to myself like that.

Alisa Kay: 00:19:02

To be more to this that has to be more to this then, like that has to be more to

Alisa Kay: 00:19:06

this exploration really led me down this path of like copywriting of marketing, of

Alisa Kay: 00:19:10

reading, all of those interesting books.

Alisa Kay: 00:19:12

I'm actually like becoming obsessed with the persuasion,

Alisa Kay: 00:19:15

understanding that, oh, wow.

Alisa Kay: 00:19:17

Like I've been coaching kids, all my.

Alisa Kay: 00:19:21

the Thing that made me an amazing tutor and the thing that made me have a hundred

Alisa Kay: 00:19:25

percent success rate with all of my students, they eventually got into the

Alisa Kay: 00:19:28

schools that they want to get into.

Alisa Kay: 00:19:31

Um, even if they had to have like a six, you know, whatever,

Alisa Kay: 00:19:33

there's like half term.

Alisa Kay: 00:19:35

Yeah, I got to get up there.

Alisa Kay: 00:19:36

Thing that made me be an amazing tutor was the fact that I coached my students

Alisa Kay: 00:19:42

to seeing themselves in those places.

Alisa Kay: 00:19:45

I coached them into seeing their future.

Alisa Kay: 00:19:47

I coached them into wanting to pass those exams.

Alisa Kay: 00:19:51

It even when you know, wanting to pass those exams, particularly when it w

Alisa Kay: 00:19:57

what they were doing is essentially, you know, saying w was essentially

Alisa Kay: 00:20:02

living out of their parents' dreams.

Alisa Kay: 00:20:03

And I think.

Alisa Kay: 00:20:05

A lot of like, uh, tutoring, right?

Alisa Kay: 00:20:07

And, and management of families and management of that, it very much

Alisa Kay: 00:20:12

is maintaining those expectations of those parents who ultimately

Alisa Kay: 00:20:15

just want the best for that kids.

Alisa Kay: 00:20:18

And I think the thing that made me a great copywriter was understanding the

Alisa Kay: 00:20:22

basic human needs and having worked with so many different levels of client

Alisa Kay: 00:20:26

from like the Uber, like people who have more money than they know what to do.

Alisa Kay: 00:20:31

To people who don't and understanding the fundamentally

Alisa Kay: 00:20:34

there needs a, basically the same.

Alisa Kay: 00:20:37

And I think that having that knowledge made me a much better copywriter and

Alisa Kay: 00:20:40

therefore has made me a much better coach.

Alisa Kay: 00:20:43

And there's this past life experience that I think you bring to the table

Alisa Kay: 00:20:47

that is going to make you be the best at coaching that you can be like,

Alisa Kay: 00:20:52

I don't know of any other coach who has had that wealth of experience.

Alisa Kay: 00:20:56

I don't know of any other coach that has been able to get kids into top

Alisa Kay: 00:21:00

schools around the world has worked with different levels of like very,

Alisa Kay: 00:21:04

very incredibly wealthy clients.

Alisa Kay: 00:21:07

And has had, you know, an emotional breakdown on a quarter life crisis,

Alisa Kay: 00:21:11

and all of the other things that I've just shared with you, like that's what

Alisa Kay: 00:21:14

makes me have that unique perspective from my specific clients, like couple

Alisa Kay: 00:21:20

that with generational stuff, with being an immigrant and everything

Alisa Kay: 00:21:23

else that comes along with it.

Alisa Kay: 00:21:25

I think you get, you know, a special magic had a special souls that only

Alisa Kay: 00:21:29

specific clients will benefit from.

Alisa Kay: 00:21:32

Right?

Alisa Kay: 00:21:32

And I think that you, as a person, even when your life feels boring and

Alisa Kay: 00:21:37

dull, and like these are sort of the, the high end, the low lights, you

Alisa Kay: 00:21:42

have that same level of experience and wealth, even if it doesn't feel.

Alisa Kay: 00:21:46

You know, so I think that's when the magic happens and I, you know, that fuck this

Alisa Kay: 00:21:51

bullshit moment, this, you know, the, the knowing and the, the line in the sand

Alisa Kay: 00:21:57

that I'm going to go back home and I'm not going to create the same circumstances.

Alisa Kay: 00:22:01

I'm not gonna settle for doing the things that I'm currently doing.

Alisa Kay: 00:22:07

I'm not going to go back to how things were that was such a pivotal and an

Alisa Kay: 00:22:13

emotional moment for me, because I feel like that was the moment where I actually

Alisa Kay: 00:22:16

started to listen to my inner coach.

Alisa Kay: 00:22:19

And I actually started to listen to my own voice and to my own needs.

Alisa Kay: 00:22:23

And how many of us put on needs on the back burner?

Alisa Kay: 00:22:26

How many of us put ourselves last?

Alisa Kay: 00:22:29

How many of us think about everyone else around them?

Alisa Kay: 00:22:33

And then start to think about what actually it is that we want.

Alisa Kay: 00:22:37

And to be Frank, it took me a few years to really fully own who I am, who I'm

Alisa Kay: 00:22:42

living for, and really live for myself and not care about what anyone else thinks

Alisa Kay: 00:22:48

and really own that, that special magic.

Alisa Kay: 00:22:51

As one of my coaches says, you're fucking welcome.

Alisa Kay: 00:22:54

And I'm Sarah, Dan, and I would a hundred percent recommend you

Alisa Kay: 00:22:57

go check her out, but you know that your fucking welcome energy.

Alisa Kay: 00:23:01

And when Sarah said that, I sort of started laughing like, oh my God, like

Alisa Kay: 00:23:04

that is really what I've been doing over the last few years is just, just

Alisa Kay: 00:23:08

saying, fuck all of your expectations.

Alisa Kay: 00:23:10

I'm going to do what the fuck I want to do.

Alisa Kay: 00:23:12

And I'm going to coach the way that I want to coach, unlike your 10 boring

Alisa Kay: 00:23:17

ass questions that you're giving to all of these life coaches, right?

Alisa Kay: 00:23:21

Who don't have any experience whatsoever with it, they can just

Alisa Kay: 00:23:24

make six figures from burning a money candle and not talking to anyone

Alisa Kay: 00:23:28

ever like, fuck all that noise.

Alisa Kay: 00:23:32

I'm going to do things different.

Alisa Kay: 00:23:34

I'm here on purpose and I'm here to, to gift people with, um, you

Alisa Kay: 00:23:39

know, my wealth of knowledge.

Alisa Kay: 00:23:40

I'm here to not only be a vessel and not only to discover like the hidden depths of

Alisa Kay: 00:23:45

who I am, but also to support other women into actually creating their reality.

Alisa Kay: 00:23:51

Because again, I think that.

Alisa Kay: 00:23:53

The very best thing about our industry is that we can do whatever the fuck we want.

Alisa Kay: 00:23:58

We can wake up at noon.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:00

We don't have to have the same limitations that nine to five people have.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:06

And isn't that the most glorious, free thinking, freedom, creating things.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:12

You can literally make money while you sleep.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:15

And that's, you know, that's never, ever been the case for anyone.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:20

Like I can imagine my mom in Soviet Ukraine having these same opportunities,

Alisa Kay: 00:24:26

that was not the case when she grew up.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:29

And how many of our parents, like, you know, had the same sacrament.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:33

We can do things differently for the future generations, for our kids,

Alisa Kay: 00:24:36

for our families, for everyone.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:38

And I think that that's what reading, like the boomer generation doesn't

Alisa Kay: 00:24:42

understand is that a lot of young people, younger generations, right.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:46

I hear this all the time to keep my grandma.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:49

I love my grandmother.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:49

She's like a whole episode in itself is my grandmother's wealth of experience

Alisa Kay: 00:24:54

and the many lives that she's led.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:56

But my, grandma will say things like well, you just don't understand.

Alisa Kay: 00:24:59

We would have never had this, this, and this opportunity.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:01

We would have never had this, this and this.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:04

And I think that it's so fascinating to consider the fact that your

Alisa Kay: 00:25:08

fuck, this bullshit moment can be.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:11

Five years ago, six years ago, seven years ago.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:14

It can be tomorrow.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:15

It can be right now.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:16

You get to decide where your line is.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:19

You get to decide the day that you get to create your dream life.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:24

Like the circumstances that you're sitting in today, don't have to be your story.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:29

And I think that in this moment, in this world that we live in today, At this time,

Alisa Kay: 00:25:35

that statement has never be more true.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:37

And that to me is the most exciting aspect of our industry.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:42

The fact that you get to decide, you get to choose who you get

Alisa Kay: 00:25:45

to show up as every single day.

Alisa Kay: 00:25:47

And that in itself is the most freeing thing I think about being a coach.